Freak Out Moment

I had a freak out moment yesterday. I dodged a very would-be embarrassing moment. I was gone for most of the day (thank goodness!) and when I returned home late in the evening there was a message on my phone from an old friend - whom I haven't seen in 5 years.

She was in town!!

She wanted to meet!!!

I was supposed to call her!!!!

Now, before I go on let me say that I REALLY like this friend and would have LOVED to see her - if it weren't for my weight. Luckily by the time I got home she was surely on her way home and no longer in the danger zone. For this I was grateful. How sad is that?

I knew and lived by this friend back when my second son was born and I lost all (and then some) of my baby weight. I didn't feel like it then, but I looked fantastic. I couldn't let her see me like this, not after 5 years, not when the last time she saw me I was 128lbs! She probably wouldn't recognize me or worse, she wouldn't be able to hide her "surprise" face at seeing me. Not that she'd do it on purpose, but who could blame her?

This is what I've come to. Hiding. Is this not a kick in the pants to step it up a notch? I'll have these moments again, that's for sure. I want next time to be different. It NEEDS to be different.

This mornings chow: Oats with PB and a handful of chocolate chips. Sweet tooth in the morning? Oh yeah! Thanks Mom!