Tomorrow I leave for 5 days. What makes this a difficult challenge is - my clothes. I don't have enough things to wear for 5 days! I pretty much wear the same thing around here day after day and if I'm going out in public I have my choice of about two outfits. So I made a trip to Wal Mart today, since I don't plan on being this size for long I didn't need fashionable and expensive clothes. Wal Mart will do. The problem is, you get to know your real size when you buy new clothes. *Sigh*
I fit into the large 12/14 sizes, and that's pre-washing so I'm sure if I really want them to fit me after laundering I'd need xl 16? So depressing. Now for some of you that may be your goal and you're happy with that size, but for me and my body that's NOT ok.
I have skirts and pants in my closet that are 4's. How did I get so out of control? And what's funny is I look at those "small" clothes in my closet and think they should fit a child. They look like they've shrunk. Mind games I tell you. It's a weird thing what your mind believes. I still feel like I did at 130lbs, but when I see my old clothes and look at pictures I can see what a crock of crap that is.
Didn't get my exercise in this morning. Whoa is me. But I still have hope tonight.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Quick Update
Have to be quick because I hear the little one stirring. She's been off schedule since we got home - and now we're leaving again on Wednesday. Oh summer. You're killing my schedule.
Anyway, I got an 80min walk/run in on Saturday. Sunday is my official day off and today I slacked. I'm having a really hard time staying motivated. I feel like a blob of jelly when I'm out exercising and it kills me to know where I've been, and where I'm at now. Nothing is fitting and I get down so easily. I have to keep going, but leaving town is not going to help with that. I plan to get up in the morning and get an 80min run/walk in again. That is if the little one will go back to sleep and STAY asleep.
Food wise I didn't count my calories today, but if I had to guess I stayed about 1800. Tomorrow I must be perfect. One day at a time. I'll weigh myself again next monday and then again around the first of every month. No measurements until the middle of August.
Have a good night.
Anyway, I got an 80min walk/run in on Saturday. Sunday is my official day off and today I slacked. I'm having a really hard time staying motivated. I feel like a blob of jelly when I'm out exercising and it kills me to know where I've been, and where I'm at now. Nothing is fitting and I get down so easily. I have to keep going, but leaving town is not going to help with that. I plan to get up in the morning and get an 80min run/walk in again. That is if the little one will go back to sleep and STAY asleep.
Food wise I didn't count my calories today, but if I had to guess I stayed about 1800. Tomorrow I must be perfect. One day at a time. I'll weigh myself again next monday and then again around the first of every month. No measurements until the middle of August.
Have a good night.
Friday, July 23, 2010
I'm back
Back from a great ride. I do LOVE going in the morning...when I'm out there. Plus it's so much easier when you're meeting a friend. Rode for about 70mins and burned 530 cal. I will have to go on a walk or something later tonight to make up the rest. Now I'm enjoying a delicious bowl of oats. This girl is the oatmeal queen! I topped mine with toasted almonds and peanut butter today. It's really good. And I used to hate oatmeal - with a capital H. You should try it.
Good Morning
I'm off to get a bike ride in before it gets too hot. It's early for me, I don't really like being awake before 7:30, but you gotta do what ya gotta do. I survived going out of town. I didn't exercise at all while away, but my eating wasn't too terribly bad surprisingly. I have to get back on track today counting calories. I tried to keep a mental note of what I was eating while gone, but I know I didn't hit my marks like I want to. I aim for a 1000 calorie deficit everyday with exercise and calorie counting. I've figured my BMR is 2190. So I try to eat about 1500 - 1700 calories a day and burn 600 calories through exercise. Some days I make it, some days I don't. Over a weeks period, this would give me a 2 lb weight loss.
So like I said - no exercising or counting while I was gone will not show up pretty on the scale. But today I'm back at it strong.
I'll probably ride for over an hour to hit my 600 calorie mark. It's a great way to start the day - if I could just WAKE UP!!
Have a great day.
So like I said - no exercising or counting while I was gone will not show up pretty on the scale. But today I'm back at it strong.
I'll probably ride for over an hour to hit my 600 calorie mark. It's a great way to start the day - if I could just WAKE UP!!
Have a great day.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
First Weigh-In
Today I did my first weigh-in. Now one thing I should mention is that I will NOT be weighing myself regularly. Unlike some people who get motivated by a 1-2lb loss a week, it totally discourages me. I know, it shouldn't, but it does. I expect more from my sacrifice all week. (please don't go off on how 1-2lbs is considered "healthy" and should be all that I lose and that it shouldn't be a sacrifice, but a way of life - I know all that) I'm a work in progress here, with everything, including my mind. But this is where I'm at now and hopefully I'll progress through my journey.
So back to the weigh in.
I haven't weighed myself for a few weeks, ever since I saw 180 on the scale. I couldn't see that number again. AND, I believe I may have gone over that considering how I ate after I weighed myself. But today I needed to see exactly where I'm starting and since Monday is going to be my official weigh-in day and I'll be out of town, I had to do it today. I was so happy to see 178! Can't believe I'm saying that, but it's sooo much better than 180. And guess what, it motivated me to go drink a green monster for breakfast.
So I won't be weighing myself every week. More like once a month, but I will be taking my measurements, then two weeks later my weight, then two weeks later measurements, then weight...get it? So I'll have some sort of "progress" every two weeks.
Today's breakfast:
2 C of Spinach
1 C Almond milk
1/2 C blackberries
1 banana
All mixed up in the HealthMaster....sooo yummy and filling, and only 250 calories.
Lots of packing to do today. Better get to it.
So back to the weigh in.
I haven't weighed myself for a few weeks, ever since I saw 180 on the scale. I couldn't see that number again. AND, I believe I may have gone over that considering how I ate after I weighed myself. But today I needed to see exactly where I'm starting and since Monday is going to be my official weigh-in day and I'll be out of town, I had to do it today. I was so happy to see 178! Can't believe I'm saying that, but it's sooo much better than 180. And guess what, it motivated me to go drink a green monster for breakfast.
So I won't be weighing myself every week. More like once a month, but I will be taking my measurements, then two weeks later my weight, then two weeks later measurements, then weight...get it? So I'll have some sort of "progress" every two weeks.
Today's breakfast:
2 C of Spinach
1 C Almond milk
1/2 C blackberries
1 banana
All mixed up in the HealthMaster....sooo yummy and filling, and only 250 calories.
Lots of packing to do today. Better get to it.
Background Part 2
(See Part 1 Below)
Where was I? Oh yes...
I found that working towards something really helped me, so I did what every new runner does - I signed up for a race. Not just any race, a HALF MARATHON. No starting slow here. I was running about 3 miles at a time in Aug, and my race was in Feb. I did it, and it was the BEST time of my life. During marathon training I wasn't really aware if I was loosing weight or not (again, no scale) but people would tell me I looked great and that felt good. Of course after the race I had that post race let down. I did a few races here and there but wasn't running over 10 miles like I was, but my "size" stayed the same.
I got pregnant with my second son and again found out my weight at the doctors which was 136. But I definitely had a different physique than the first time. Again, I put on exactly 28lbs and did absolutely NO exercise while pregnant. Didn't want to "risk" it - only an excuse.
The difference was that by the time my son was born I was DYING to get back to running. 2 1/2 weeks after he was born I was running two miles - NOT RECOMMENDED. When he was three months old I had upped my runs to 7miles. BUT, I wasn't losing weight, wasn't gaining it either. Once I stopped nursing I hit the gym. I was trying to run and lift at least 4 days a week, but again it wasn't until my son was about 9months old that I really started to lose weight. This time I had a scale and I was about 145lbs. By the time my son turned one, I was at 135 and then at 14months I hit my all time low of 128lbs.
I continued to run and exercise but was now trying to incorporate healthy foods too. I switched to whole wheat, ground turkey instead of beef, and lots of salads. For the next 5months my weight pretty much stayed the same, but I looked better. I began to do triathlons, and I ran a few road races. I kept the weight off for a year, but a move out of state and going back to school I noticed my weight creeping up again. With a two and four year old and taking on nursing school I ate away my stress - and there was a lot of it. This new eating style and no time for exercise (so I thought) I reached 145lbs again over the next year. I battled this number for the rest of my school years and I graduated at almost 150lbs.
Then I got pregnant for the third time. I weighed in at 148lbs. I was so sick with this pregnancy that I lost almost 10lbs in the first three months. I thought I might even leave the hospital the same weight that I started - yeah right. The last three months I made up for feeling so crummy for so long. I gained 34lbs - NOT including the 10 I lost in the beginning. It was a number I've never seen on the scale before - 182.
When I left the hospital I had lost 20lbs! So happy about that - but it didn't last long. I lost control and began an eating fest like never before. I decided to wait on the exercise this time around and wasn't even thinking about it until two months later. Now I topped the scale at 180. Yes, 20lbs in two months. Out-of-control.
So here I am, my daughter almost three months and a good 50lbs to lose. And even after that I'd still like to lose another 10. But I figure I can take my time on that one but these 50lbs HAVE GOT TO GO.
So that's my background in a BIG nutshell. Now that you know where I've come from, you can watch where I go. And I will go.
I found that working towards something really helped me, so I did what every new runner does - I signed up for a race. Not just any race, a HALF MARATHON. No starting slow here. I was running about 3 miles at a time in Aug, and my race was in Feb. I did it, and it was the BEST time of my life. During marathon training I wasn't really aware if I was loosing weight or not (again, no scale) but people would tell me I looked great and that felt good. Of course after the race I had that post race let down. I did a few races here and there but wasn't running over 10 miles like I was, but my "size" stayed the same.
I got pregnant with my second son and again found out my weight at the doctors which was 136. But I definitely had a different physique than the first time. Again, I put on exactly 28lbs and did absolutely NO exercise while pregnant. Didn't want to "risk" it - only an excuse.
The difference was that by the time my son was born I was DYING to get back to running. 2 1/2 weeks after he was born I was running two miles - NOT RECOMMENDED. When he was three months old I had upped my runs to 7miles. BUT, I wasn't losing weight, wasn't gaining it either. Once I stopped nursing I hit the gym. I was trying to run and lift at least 4 days a week, but again it wasn't until my son was about 9months old that I really started to lose weight. This time I had a scale and I was about 145lbs. By the time my son turned one, I was at 135 and then at 14months I hit my all time low of 128lbs.
I continued to run and exercise but was now trying to incorporate healthy foods too. I switched to whole wheat, ground turkey instead of beef, and lots of salads. For the next 5months my weight pretty much stayed the same, but I looked better. I began to do triathlons, and I ran a few road races. I kept the weight off for a year, but a move out of state and going back to school I noticed my weight creeping up again. With a two and four year old and taking on nursing school I ate away my stress - and there was a lot of it. This new eating style and no time for exercise (so I thought) I reached 145lbs again over the next year. I battled this number for the rest of my school years and I graduated at almost 150lbs.
Then I got pregnant for the third time. I weighed in at 148lbs. I was so sick with this pregnancy that I lost almost 10lbs in the first three months. I thought I might even leave the hospital the same weight that I started - yeah right. The last three months I made up for feeling so crummy for so long. I gained 34lbs - NOT including the 10 I lost in the beginning. It was a number I've never seen on the scale before - 182.
When I left the hospital I had lost 20lbs! So happy about that - but it didn't last long. I lost control and began an eating fest like never before. I decided to wait on the exercise this time around and wasn't even thinking about it until two months later. Now I topped the scale at 180. Yes, 20lbs in two months. Out-of-control.
So here I am, my daughter almost three months and a good 50lbs to lose. And even after that I'd still like to lose another 10. But I figure I can take my time on that one but these 50lbs HAVE GOT TO GO.
So that's my background in a BIG nutshell. Now that you know where I've come from, you can watch where I go. And I will go.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Background Part 1
You can't really know a person, unless you know where they've come from. So here is all the background info you'll need to get to know me.
Growing up I never had "weight issues" per say, but I was on the thicker side - maybe smoother side is more like it. I wasn't the skinny girl who could eat anything, nor was I over weight. But I can remember always wanting to lose a few pounds. Body image issues right from the start I guess. One of the most hurtful things that has stuck with me since high school was when a boy I liked watched me walk toward him and said "geesh, thunder thighs". I laughed, but it stung.
I started working out at the local gym when I was a freshman in high school. I used to volunteer in the child care room so I could get free membership. I wasn't hard core about it, but I did hit the aerobics class on and off for the next three years. My senior year I signed up for a weightlifting class with my friend so we could get out of taking PE as seniors. That's when I came to love and respect weightlifting.
Off to college I went. I never really gained the freshmen 15 (I already felt like I had 15 to lose) and I got a membership right away at the gym. Again, I worked out on and off and looking back I really had no idea how to workout. But at least I was getting exercise.
I then met my to be husband who was a fitness fanatic! We're talking crazy here people. He HAD to workout everyday for about 2 hours, sometimes twice a day. He'd even show up late for dates because of a workout. I used to HATE that, but now love the fact that he's into being healthy and fit - it helps me. (he of course has calmed down a bit)
I pretty much stayed the same weight from high school on, til my first pregnancy - about 125-130lbs, mainly by walking, using machines at the gym and staying physically active (hiking etc.) My first doctor's appt when I was pregnant with my first son I weighed in at 134lbs. I ended up gaining 28lbs that pregnancy. The problem began after my son was born. A once full time worker turned stay at home mom I found comfort in baking and eating. I gained weight, but don't know how much since I didn't own a scale during this time of my life. I could tell by my clothes and pictures. I didn't start to lose any weight until my son was about 9 months old (around April) and I was about to be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding. I wanted to lose weight fast so my husband suggested running. Now let's get one thing straight - I HATED RUNNING. I mean really hated it, like would do anything else in the world hated it. It was the worst and I would tease my husband about it every time he'd take off for a run. But I was desperate.
I started to run/walk. More like walk/run. I couldn't run for more than a block, literally. But each time I added more and more distance - like make it to the next fire hydrant or telephone pole distance. Not too extreme here. Plus I cut all my food portions in half. I didn't restrict eating or count calories, just cut everything I would have normally ate in half. It worked! And by the time my friend's wedding rolled around (June) I had to have my size 12 dress taken in, roughly 2 sizes. I felt great. But the best part was I found a love for running. Yes, I converted. Plus I was so happy with the results I had to keep going.
Growing up I never had "weight issues" per say, but I was on the thicker side - maybe smoother side is more like it. I wasn't the skinny girl who could eat anything, nor was I over weight. But I can remember always wanting to lose a few pounds. Body image issues right from the start I guess. One of the most hurtful things that has stuck with me since high school was when a boy I liked watched me walk toward him and said "geesh, thunder thighs". I laughed, but it stung.
I started working out at the local gym when I was a freshman in high school. I used to volunteer in the child care room so I could get free membership. I wasn't hard core about it, but I did hit the aerobics class on and off for the next three years. My senior year I signed up for a weightlifting class with my friend so we could get out of taking PE as seniors. That's when I came to love and respect weightlifting.
Off to college I went. I never really gained the freshmen 15 (I already felt like I had 15 to lose) and I got a membership right away at the gym. Again, I worked out on and off and looking back I really had no idea how to workout. But at least I was getting exercise.
I then met my to be husband who was a fitness fanatic! We're talking crazy here people. He HAD to workout everyday for about 2 hours, sometimes twice a day. He'd even show up late for dates because of a workout. I used to HATE that, but now love the fact that he's into being healthy and fit - it helps me. (he of course has calmed down a bit)
I pretty much stayed the same weight from high school on, til my first pregnancy - about 125-130lbs, mainly by walking, using machines at the gym and staying physically active (hiking etc.) My first doctor's appt when I was pregnant with my first son I weighed in at 134lbs. I ended up gaining 28lbs that pregnancy. The problem began after my son was born. A once full time worker turned stay at home mom I found comfort in baking and eating. I gained weight, but don't know how much since I didn't own a scale during this time of my life. I could tell by my clothes and pictures. I didn't start to lose any weight until my son was about 9 months old (around April) and I was about to be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding. I wanted to lose weight fast so my husband suggested running. Now let's get one thing straight - I HATED RUNNING. I mean really hated it, like would do anything else in the world hated it. It was the worst and I would tease my husband about it every time he'd take off for a run. But I was desperate.
I started to run/walk. More like walk/run. I couldn't run for more than a block, literally. But each time I added more and more distance - like make it to the next fire hydrant or telephone pole distance. Not too extreme here. Plus I cut all my food portions in half. I didn't restrict eating or count calories, just cut everything I would have normally ate in half. It worked! And by the time my friend's wedding rolled around (June) I had to have my size 12 dress taken in, roughly 2 sizes. I felt great. But the best part was I found a love for running. Yes, I converted. Plus I was so happy with the results I had to keep going.
(to be continued...)
Welcome Aboard
Here it is...the beginning of a very long and hard journey, but I know it will be worth it. I've had enough living in this fat coat and now it's time to shred it. This blog will shamelessly follow my journey to losing over 50lbs and then (hopefully) turning into an Iron Women! I won't hold anything back even to my ego's dismay. I'm not a registered dietitian and I don't know everything about healthy living- but I have been interested in nutrition and exercise since I was in high school and have read a lot about it since. The ideas and programs followed in this blog are choices I make for me - you should seek medical advice before starting any diet and exercise program. Ok, enough logistics. If you're looking for inspiration or willing to give motivation (cause I'll need it!) then stick around and hop aboard this crazy train. I guarantee there will be bumps and curves ahead.
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